瞧，这个人要掐住命运的喉咙

自信

二宝拿着几个硬币要逛免税店。我说你这点钱很少的你行吗？二宝说：放心，我总能买点啥回来。#他那么穷却那么自信

掐住

不平出诗人。二宝在旅行中作诗，悲叹贫困，还有伙食不对胃口，最后决定掐住命运的喉咙。

When Life Gives You Lemons

by Erbao

I've thought about life, and concluded that it is not easy
and when something is not easy, you just compose poetry

why didn't my partner pay me my needed, wanted fee?
he has a lot of money, and I only have a hundred and thirty.

something bothers me, it is what the hell I will eat,
with me being in japan, the food mostly of sea?

the smell of it all, bothering me oh-so-deep,
everywhere in my vision I see them, making me almost weep,

I have thoughts about all of this and finally I see:
when life gives you lemons, just squeeeeeeeeeeze

我试译如下：

当命运给你柠檬
二宝

生活，我想过了，而且搞懂了：
它不容易。
遇到不容易的事儿，
可不就只能写诗。

为什么？小伙伴不还我钱！我是那么需要它，渴望它。
钱！他有那么多，而我只有一百三。

闹心，吃的真闹心。我可是在日本啊，吃的都是海里的。

闻起来那味道，闹心，真闹心。能看到的都是鱼，我都快哭了。

所有这些，我都想过了，也明白了：

当命运给你柠檬，
就死劲掐掐掐掐掐掐掐掐掐！

粗鲁

二宝在站台上正要说话，一辆列车飞驰而过，把他的话堵回了肚子里。二宝大怒：“That train was rude!”

霸凌

午饭我点了啤酒，二宝说要向朵拉妈举报。我说：“It’s much more worthwhile to make me a friend of yours than an enemy.”

二宝说：“That ‘s what bullies usually said.”

伤心

二宝坚持要哭着睡觉，用玩游戏哄都哄不动。早晨起来复盘。二宝说，这样做是因为我有个绝妙的主意。如果我当时被你们哄好了，那么今天还会想起昨天的伤心事。事情就还没完。但如果我昨天把伤心用完了，今天起来就是一整天开心。